If you are a woman having a hard time attracting a guy the problem could be as simple as using your natural tools of attraction in the wrong way.
Remembering how different men are from women and understanding some things about how they think can help you to rethink your approach.
Guys can be big and tough-looking and — really slow sometimes– but most often they are just waiting on you to give them some indication that you are open to a conversation –then they jump all over you, but that’s another story.
What really is important is understanding what signals you are sending the guy. Understanding how to get a guy’s attention –without coming on heavy or appearing uninterested– means seeing yourself from his perspective, which requires seriously dumbing it down a shade.
There are three common situations where you want to attract a guy you come in contact with. 1st there’s the guy you see for the first time –but something just sends your body twitching and you’re not sure what to do.
Then there’s the guy you see every so often –you have the same gym class or maybe you frequent the same park or cafe, and now something caused a spark. Finally, there’s the guy you already know — and that’s tough cuz’ it might totally take him by surprise and…
The ways that you would effectively approach these three different guys will have to be suited to the particulars of the situation –yet the objectives are all pretty much the same, get his attention, spark some interest enough so that he looks for some continuation of your interactions.
Chapter I: The Guy You See for the First Time
In a situation like this it is most common for the guy to walk up and strike up a conversation with the girl. Of course, he may have already noticed.
You And Is Waiting For The Green Lights To Make His Move; here are some good ways to communicate that you notice him to and are also interested in swapping pleasantries.
1. Work the Eyes and Wear a smile
Stare at him from time to time –never for more than 3 seconds, 5 at the very most and biting a lip may be coming on kind of heavy. Eye contact is the easiest way to make the initial connection and if accompanied by a warm smile the magic is made.
2. Fiddle With Your Body
If you feel an attraction, as a woman you feel it somewhere in your body, naturally, this causes a warm touchy-feely reaction –guys know this and pick up on subtle body language on a subconscious level. The way you play with your hair, glide a finger across your cheek or neck, tilt your head and hold your shoulders are powerful signals that hit a guys subconscious receptors in a big way.
The way you position your body will do a lot to attract the attention of a guy. The curvy female body is the first thing many visual guys notice first, although the messages they get from your facial expression will be far more detrimental to the encounter.
4. Blushing and Smiling
After the initial glance or two has been made, he might be wondering if this is for real and might start glancing over a bit more wondering what your up to. Now show him your reaction to his male curiosity — if he catches your eye blush and be coy as a kitten. Or look away and smile –telling him you are pleased he noticed.
5. Be Sensual and Relaxed
All this time, while you know you got his eye on you, show him what you’re all about when the light is on you –think smooth and seductive “with more curves than a scenic railway”, rather than jumpy and panicky. You can keep playing the attention game by staring at him a bit longer and delicately rolling a wine glass, pen or strand of hair through your fingers.
6. Act Bored
You’ve gotten the message across to him and you are both feeling it, the mood is right and for some reason the guy isn’t coming over, whats up with that?
At this point the guy might be waiting for the right moment –a girl who appears busy or entertained is not sending the approachable signal.
If you want to get him to make a move, try acting bored, play with something, act idle, look at the stars — but communicate to him that you’re not occupied and he can come on over
7. React to his Behavior
If done subtly enough replicating behavior is one of the basis for building empathy and bonding –if you notice he might be feeling the heat, you’re feeling it too. This can be as effective at a distance as it can be up close.
8. Set him Up to Win
Some guys just don’t have the testicular fortitude to get off the seat and make a move immediately. You could tilt the game in his favor by bumping into him at the bar or walking by him on the way to the ladies room. You could hand him a slam dunk by grazing against him and apologizing with a sweet smile and a hand on his arm.
Chapter II: The Guy You See Frequently
If you run into a particular guy every so often — maybe in the classroom, gym, workplace or around the neighborhood– there are all kinds of things you can do to spark his interest and communicate to him that you may be interested too.
1. Dress Attractively and Consider your Visual Projection
I can’t express enough what visual creatures men are, especially when it comes to those vital first impressions and when making up one’s mind about his environment. Guys love heels, curves and a woman who knows how to wrap her body without shrouding her assets or making all imagination redundant.
2. Be Sunshine and Rainbows
Guys — and humans in general, wait.. yeah animals too– are attracted to warmth and a relaxed atmosphere. You want this guy to think of you as the “fun girl from German class” rather than the “sour lady I run into every so often.” When he sees that having fun is what you are all about, there is going to be hard for him to overlook you.
3. Run Into Each Other in Other Places
Find other places that you could run into each other, this could be a good opportunity to implement some of those tips from the first section. The signals you send from a distance will be noticed and missed when you are not around.
4. Be Warm and Inviting
There is always a lapse of time when all this is going on where a guy is not reacting –maybe hesitant, may be unsure of what you’re up to and maybe just chicken–unfortunately many good men let it run too long,more’s the pity.
You can warm him up with the heat of a passing smile which will surely get his attention and transmit the RSVP to him, these are all green lights that will throw the switch for different guys at different strengths, so be creative but not desperate.
5. Create the Opportunity
Another way to move him along. Once he has responded by letting you know he notices you and is even warmed by your smile — if he smiles back you have this in the bag– you may try presenting him with the perfect opportunity to speak with you. Sitting at an adjoining table or even walking by him –for no specific reason– should do it.
6. The Last Resort
Finally, if the guy is not responding by this point there is a failsafe — the proverbial damsel in distress call never fails to bring out the cavalier in the timidest guy. So if you have a dragon, a tower or an ogre… you could just overkill the the whole thing.
Ask him to open a jar, pick up a book you dropped in front of him specifically for the purpose of him picking it up, what time it is (if you have a watch on when you ask, even better), if you can borrow a pen –The romantics have already laid the tracks here just back it up a bit and have fun with your knight.
Chapter III: The Guy You Already Know
Getting a guys attention when you already know him is much easier in a few aspects, there is no uncertainty, awkward silences or subtlety involved — although the dynamics of eye contact and body language still apply to a certain extent but may be not in the same way. There are some important things to consider about attempting to “hot wire” the guy you already know, these are especially true the longer you’ve known each other.
1. Easy Does It
It is important to consider that you may already have built an image and relationship –to what ever extent that may be– and this is something that you will have to mindful of as your relationship evolves.
With this in mind, don’t get overly excited now that you both are talking and tell him everything. Seeming desperate is the last thing you want to do and informing him of your dating status and what your horoscope said about true love is not a good idea.
If you want things to flourish –even if you really really really want them to flourish– it’s best if you learn to take leads from him. Which will make him feel comfortable with whatever happens –and then you make certain prospects really enticing… and the rest, as they say, is famine or feast.
2. Make Yourself his Happy Thought
Keep in touch with him as much as you can without getting up in his grill — smothering him on social media networks is very uncool, it could also push him away– drop a coy comment here and there and see how he responds. Proceed with caution.
But you do want to be on his mind so be creative in finding ways that make a connection — this takes finesse because doing background checks on what his favorite ice cream is not going to work. The techniques you use and the information you employ has to be gained organically… if you hope to have an enduring relationship.
3. Arouse his Curiosity
He will be far more intrigued by the events if he is presented with some mystery, and that mystery is you. Lead him on, give him hints and see what he responds to.
Remember to make the game interesting but don’t make him feel like you are just toying with him or he may feel dejected –keep him winning.
4. Seem Compatible
Being compatible is not about agreeing on everything or challenging each other but looking for ways to appeal to each other’s intellect when communicating on opposing ground. Don’t pick a fight, bring up a topic for discussion and be fully aware that you can’t push your point, only present your option –very attractively.
5. Play It Cool
You could drop hints that you are single and see if he picks up on them –he may already know– if so you might mention you were going to be free for the weekend or that some plans were canceled and you don’t know what you will do. He might have an idea?
6. Play Hard to Get
After you have dropped the hints and at least presented him with the prospects, it is important to allow him to act and see if he will instantly begin the chase. Give him plenty of opportunities to see what a catch you are and he will respond accordingly.
7. Falling in love
Ah, You wish, Baby! Falling in love is as easy as it is impossible –because it requires 5 cups of flour, 3 Ostrich Eggs and becoming the embodiment of love in each other’s eyes and hearts and that is a personal decision–Not a Trick!
Wishing You the Best Ladies!!